INTERN meant to continue Publishing Process 101 today, but she is gargleshmazzled to report that she has just taken part in her first ever Well-Oiled Publishing Lunch!!!
Actually, there was no Lunch, just Oil, which came in fancy upside-down pyramid shaped glasses—some kind of clear liquor with a spasm of fruity stuff lurking at the bottom. INTERN doesn't know what exactly what hers was, because she got befuddled by the extensive menu and had a knowledgeable Senior Editor order for her. But whatever it was, it did the trick.
Over the course of this WOPL, INTERN learned:
-that Editors are real people with real life concerns—for example, one Editor is being stalked by her creepy phone-breathing ex-boyfriend, and another (gay) Editor is stressed out about seeing his homophobic grandmother on the fourth of July, and another Editor just needs to find a good cupcake recipe.
-that certain Authors are not real people and have only psychotic concerns—for example, one Author is threatening to sue because her author photo (which she provided) makes her chin look big. And another Author will only respond to e-mail written in pink, size 16, comic sans font.
-that certain Editorial Assistants and Designers may be having a tumultuous water-cooler romance. OOH!
-that nobody gets paid enough and if anyone doesn't have only 15 minutes of vacation left, it's because they only have 7.5 minutes of vacation left.
As far as INTERN can tell, WOPL's happen rarely enough that when they do, everyone's secret desires and suspicions and gripes and suppressed personality traits come crawling out of the woodwork in a great big Carnival of Intrigue. Now that we are back in the office, everyone is back to normal—except the INTERN, who is feeling kind of woozy.