Why INTERN’s mom is not her critique partner:
“It's a neat story, but is it realistic? I mean, YOU weren't doing those things when you were seventeen—“ *blushes, looks fretful*
Why INTERN’s dad is not her critique partner:
“Great story. Given any thought to law school?”
Why INTERN’s sister is not her critique partner:
“The second letter in the main character’s name is the same as the third letter in my middle name AND YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD NEVER WRITE ABOUT ME.”
Why INTERN’s grandma is not her critique partner:
“Can you print this again in a decent type size?”
“Like how big, grandma?”
Why INTERN's grandpa is not her critique partner:
*sets manuscript on fire by using it as an ashtray* *shoots rifle at ceiling* "Thieves! Vandals!"
Why INTERN’s best friend from college is not her critique partner:
“Du-u-de, the first two pages were so-o-o good, then I lost the manuscript on the beach when I was skimboarding.”
Why INTERN’s highschool English teacher is not her critique partner:
*sighs* “Well, it's not The Sun Also Rises.”
Why INTERN's kindergarten best friend is not her critique partner:
*twirls hair* "Can you make it be about a princess?"
Why that creepy guy on the bus is not INTERN’s critique partner:
“You’re the bomb, baby. Can I touch your hair?”
Why Techie Boyfriend’s little sister is not INTERN’s critique partner:
“I think the characters are really—OMG LOOK AT THIS YOUTUBE VIDEO OF A GUY BEATBOXING WHILE PLAYING THE FLUTE IT’LL ONLY TAKE A SECOND JUST WATCH IT!”
Why Harold Camping is not INTERN's critique partner:
"Throw it all on the stink-barge! JUDGEMENT DAY IS COMING BEFORE YOUR DEADLINE ANYWAY."
Why INTERN's eerily smart baby cousin is not her critique partner:
*drools on manuscript* *writes 20-point editorial letter analyzing manuscript's flaws from a post-Lacanian perspective*
Why the People In White Coats are not INTERN's critique partners:
"You do know that writing obsessively is a sign of mania? Let's get you on Depakote, shall we?"*
*happy mental health month and happy monday!