(thump of INTERN's exhausted body hitting the floor)
It has been a fast-paced and cutthroat two days, but INTERN is here to report that her new internship is off to a stimulating start.
INTERN spent her first days at Venerable McPulitzer elbows-deep in royalty statements for all sorts of famous and exciting authors, some of whom were in fact dead and whose staggering piles of cash were being forwarded to various heirs and estates (lucky. devils.). INTERN must admit it felt strange to finger financial documents pertaining to some of her literary idols—like seeing them in their pecuniary underwear, with print runs, qty sold, and royalties due stamped around the waistband in place of the Fruit of the Loom logo.
Venerable McPulitzer’s office is sprawling and cavernous, with lots of doors and hallways and a Spanish Armada of filing cabinets. The male staff are greying and humorous in an apologetic way, like highschool English teachers. The female staff are younger and more high-strung, as if making up for their dallying male counterparts. The place is overwhelmingly Caucasian, which makes INTERN feel kind of self-conscious about being yet another white female publishing intern with an English degree (cue recurring impulse to do something Tough and Gritty and Unexpected with INTERN’s life, like...like something!)
Speaking of white female publishing interns, there is some kind of Stepford Intern thing going on at Venerable McPulitzer. There are three other interns, all similar to one another in size and shape, who today at lunchtime ate an identical orange soup from little white teacups, and stayed at their workstations typing away serenely when INTERN and half the office staff left at five o’clock. The lunch thing has a reasonable explanation—some kind of soup-sharing arrangement? But the teacups? And the way they looked so pretty and diligent at ten past five o’clock (interns are supposed to leave at 4:00) while INTERN, haggard and half-deranged after a long day of blitzkrieg royalty statement management, raced out of the office to catch the train?
INTERN will have to keep an eye on the situation.
For now, she must rest. Tomorrow will be here soon, and INTERN will need all her wits about her.